You're more than that
by confessions of a band geek
Summary: Spoilers for 1x22 if I say anything. You all know what I'm referring to.
1. You're more than that

**After the extremely PAINFUL and BEAUTIFUL FitzSimmons scene last night, I just had to write this. More to come.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SHIELD! If I did, then Fitz would be fine!**

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Day 1:

They let me see Fitz today. He looked so small in that hospital bed. All the wires and tubes. The doctors are talking to me. Hell, I'm a doctor. I know the situation isn't good. He's missing the usual colour in his cheeks, the grin that he usually wears.

He's so pale.

His words echo through my brain over and over. I can still see the look in his eyes.

"You're more than that Jemma."

The thought hurts. It feels like thousands of tiny knives are ripping my heart to shreds. Feels like the air in my lungs are now filled with poison.

Everything goes black.

Day 2:

They told me I fainted. I don't remember fainting, I guess I wouldn't.

It wasn't from lack of food. I've been eating…barely…but enough to keep myself upright.

No.

The body shuts itself down, puts itself in "sleep mode" when it senses danger.

It's a survival instinct.

The thought that Fitz would never be by my side again literally made me faint. It makes me sick.

I haven't left his bedside. Not even at night. The nurses tried to come and pull me away, and I screamed and screamed, and eventually Coulson came to my side, gave them a look and they let me be. I heard him mention something about director Fury.

Day 3:

His hand feels so small in mine, which is odd, because he's always had bigger hands.

I don't do much when I'm by his side, I just study his face, looking for any sort of indication that he'll wake up.

I mostly sleep with my head against his chest. Feeling his heartbeat—although weak, gives me some reassurance.

Day 4:

His heart stopped today. I panicked so badly that I couldn't even think, I just watched helplessly as the doctors revived him. I'm a bloody doctor for goodness sakes, I'm better than this.

Day 5:

Even though his day yesterday was rough, today he's been alright. I talked to him a lot today, with our hands linked together. Told him that I needed him more than anything in the world. He IS my world.

Day 6:

"You're more than that Jemma."

I can't get it out of my mind.

And all I keep thinking is, "You're more than that Fitz."

Day 7:

"I need you to wake up Fitz!" I screamed over and over again today. But nothing.

He stayed the same, peacefully sleeping, while I watched him, unsure if I'd ever see his ocean blue eyes again.

Ocean.

Day 8:

I fainted again. The thought of the ocean, and seeing the water surround us, with Fitz's limp body in my arms gives me nightmares. I'm afraid I might never wake up from this one.

Day 9:

Skye came and sat with us today. She watched me carefully, with sad eyes. She asked what happened down there. I didn't have the strength to tell her.

Day 10:

Skye brought a little plush monkey for Fitz and put it on his bedside table, and lightly put her hand on his shoulder. "This is for you Fitz, for when you wake up. He'll be your little assistant."

I couldn't stop crying after she said that.

Day 11:

Today I told Skye what Fitz said to me at the bottom of the ocean. That I was more than that. And that he smiled at me before he pushed that damned button, before I could even say anything.

"And how do you feel?" Skye asked quietly, watching my every movement.

"He's more than that too," I said, as I lifted his limp hand and touched it to my cheek. "I just never realized."

Skye smiled sadly, tears running down her face.

Day 12:

As I'm walking into Fitz's room, I can hear Skye lightly talking to Fitz.

"Fitz, buddy, you need to wake up. Simmons needs you. We all need you."

Day 13:

The whole team came and made their rounds today, coming and saying hi to Fitz, bringing all sorts of things for him. He now has three plush monkeys on his bedside table, even a talking one.

After they all left, it was just me and Fitz. I needed to tell him.

"Fitz….Leo. You need to wake up. I can't do this anymore. I can't live without you," I said as I kissed his hand.

"Leo, you're more than that too. You're so much more. Leo, I love you."

I swear I heard a blip in his heart monitor.

Day 14:

Today there seems to be brain activity. The doctors say that he's most likely dreaming, which is good. It means he's slowly coming back to me.

Day 15:

I didn't let go of his hand all day. Told him that I loved him. Repeatedly.

I think he can hear me, because his brain activity spiked a few times after I spoke.

"Can you hear me Leo?" I shouted. "I love you Leo, please come back to me!"

I swear his hand lightly moved.

Day 16:

The team is officially on hiatus right now. No one can bring themselves to do any work until Fitz is better. May came by today to tell me and Fitz that she beat the daylights out of Ward again, and that she may or may not have nailed his other foot to the floor. She very firmly told Fitz that it's time for him to wake up. Melinda May is the most calm and intense person I have ever met, but for the first time ever, I watched her cry. We comforted each other.

Day 17:

I was busy mapping Fitz's face with my hands. Touching every exposed part, lightly stroking his cheeks, kissing every bit, when he let out a low groan. His brain activity spiked tremendously, and I jumped up in excitement.

'Leo! Leo! Please wake up! I'm here Leo, I'm here." Tears were streaming down my face and onto his, as I kept kissing every inch of his face.

He let out a whisper, so quiet and so low that I almost missed it.

"Jemma"

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**More to come! I just had to get this off my chest.**

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	2. Need you now

**This story is rolling out of me like nobody's business. I absolutely have to get it out.**

**Hope you guys are enjoying. Please let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: Yep, I don't own SHIELD.**

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**Day 18:**

Ever since he said my name yesterday, I've been on a high. Feeling like everything will turn out alright. He hasn't woken up yet, but he's twitched a few times, to the relief of the doctors and me. That means he's not paralyzed. He's said my name a few more times in his sleep. Nothing more than a groan, or a sigh, but he said it.

Skye came and tried to get me to take a shower and leave him. But I couldn't leave him. Not for one second. Even if she insisted that I should look 'pretty' for him when he wakes up. I suppose part of her is right, but knowing Fitz, he could really care less.

**Day 19:**

He still hasn't woken up. I'm getting anxious. He's showing more and more brain activity every day, but I need him to open his eyes. I need to look into them, and have them stare back.

**Day 20:**

Leo said my name in his sleep again, and tears fell from his eyes, slowly down his face and pooled on either side of his head.

"I'm here Leo, I'm here," I cried as I grasped onto his arm for dear life.

I'm scared he's having nightmares too, and that I can't comfort him.

"I'm here, you're safe," I said over and over again, while wiping the tears from his face and whispering words of love in his ears. He made a choked sort of sound, like he was crying inside, but couldn't get it out.

I can't help but think he's trapped inside himself. Like a prison. And I don't know how to help him.

**Day 21: **

Skye brought May with her today, and they forced me to take a shower. I had to get Skye to stand on the other side of the curtain while I did, because the water streaming down my body was like something out of my worst nightmares. Maybe one day it will get easier.

No change with Leo today.

**Day 22:**

Today while I was holding Leo's hand, he squeezed mine. Not very firmly, but he did.

My Leo is coming back to me.

**Day 23:**

I can't wait to kiss him. Properly kiss him. Not just this one sided thing I've been doing while he lays there healing. I mean really kiss him. I want to feel his lips on mine. Why didn't I kiss him when I had the chance in the pod? I'm such an idiot.

I want to feel his breath on me, his arms around me, no space between us. Not anymore.

I've purposely not kissed his lips because I want it to be special, and I want him to remember it.

Or maybe….

**Day 24:**

Today I tried kissing him on the lips. I thought with our mutual love of Snow White, that it would somehow miraculously wake him. But it didn't. When I pressed my lips to his, his brain activity spiked though, and when I whispered 'I love you' against his lips, it spiked again and stayed that way the whole day.

I know he felt the kiss, and I know he heard me.

It's only a matter of time.

**Day 25:**

I started bringing books to the hospital to read to him. All his favourites. His brain activity is always high now, so I know he can hear me reading. I make sure to say a few times a day, 'You're the hero. Leo, you're my hero. Please wake up, I need you."

He keeps saying my name. The doctors are very pleased with his progress. They say it could be any day now that he wakes up. They expect him to make a full recovery.

**Day 26:**

Leo woke up today.

He didn't remember me.

I can't breathe.

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**Ok this was painful to write. But I had to.**

**There is much to this story that I have in mind, so please let me know what you think!**


	3. Rose

**I don't know about you guys, but that finale still has me in pain. It deeply hurt me.**

**Writing this story is like therapy for me. Hope it's helping you guys too. **

**Please let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: Ah you know the drill.**

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**Day 27:**

The doctors said it's alright. This sort of amnesia is normal.

Doesn't make it hurt any less.

The man I love is lying in a hospital bed and has no idea who I am, or the history we share. In other words, he's perfectly fine. Other than his inability to remember me and the team.

When he first opened his eyes, I practically jumped on him, crying all over him. His beautiful blue eyes met my own and for a moment, I thought everything was going to be fine.

But when he said those three little words, and not at all the three little words I wanted to hear, "who are you?", my heart shattered into a million pieces.

**Day 28:**

The doctors say he should have a full mental recovery. It's just going to take some time. His brain scan seems normal, so that's fantastic news.

What I don't understand is, he doesn't remember me, but while he's sleeping, he still mutters my name. The doctors are very glad to hear that. It means his memories are floating around, he just needs time to find them is all.

I need you Leo. I need you so badly. Please come back to me.

**Day 29:**

Today was the first time I actually introduced myself to him again. The other days I sort of lingered around and watched from afar. It was much too painful. But I knew I had to take that step. When I told him my name was Jemma, there was a recognition behind his eyes, but he couldn't grasp it.

**Day 30:**

When we're not talking and he's resting, sometimes I catch him staring at me, like he's trying to sort an intricate puzzle. The puzzle of his brain. When I'd catch him staring, a blush would touch his cheeks, making them rise onto my own as well.

**Day 31:**

Today when I walked into his room, I heard him muttering something about the DWARVES.

My heart raced, thinking he remembered something. I asked him what he was doing.

"Just something that came to mind. Not sure where it came from."

We chat easily most days. He just thinks we're acquaintances though. We talk like we used to. He's still just as brilliant, it just takes him a little bit longer while he's recovering. We still mesh perfectly. It almost feels like we're FitzSimmons again.

Almost.

**Day 32:**

I haven't told Leo much about myself, don't want to burden him with anything. Just want him to get better. He asks me questions, but I keep as vague as possible.

It hurts so much. It physically hurts.

**Day 33:**

Doctors say Leo is healthy enough to bring back to the BUS. He's not well enough to make the trip to Scotland, but we wanted to give him some familiarity.

We showed him around the lab again, and he picked up one of his prototypes and immediately started working on it, as if nothing happened.

After a while of me watching him, he turned to me, pointed to my side of the lab and asked who worked there, "Because I'm definitely not Bio/Chem."

I ran out of the lab.

**Day 34:**

Leo approached me today. Slow at first. He asked if he did anything to upset me, and asked why I ran out of the lab. I wanted to tell him everything that he was in front of him. Years of friendship. Years of platonic, now to be discovered, romantic love. Truth is, I don't care how you explain our relationship. Brother, sister, partners, lovers, whatever. All I know is that he's my other half, and I'm his. I need him to remember me. I feel like a part of my soul is missing.

**Day 35:**

I still haven't told him I'm on the other side of the lab. He needs to heal and I don't want to make him worse. He's finally getting used to seeing everyone on the BUS and he's not so cautious around us anymore. I know what he looks like when he's uncomfortable, and I can finally see that fading away.

He even told a joke today that he couldn't remember where it was from and who was involved, but he remembered the story. It was a story about me. It was nice to see him smile today.

**Day 36:**

I was sitting in the living room today and Leo came in and sat next to me. I could feel him staring at me while I was reading. I looked up and saw his vivid blue eyes staring into mine. He asked if he could sit with me, and of course I let him. He said something that gave me hope.

"Jemma, even though I barely know you, I feel really comfortable around you. I can't explain it. It feels like I know you."

I could see the pain behind his eyes and I desperately wanted to stroke his cheek, and tell him that everything would be alright. But I couldn't. I wasn't that Jemma to him. Not yet. I'm just a stranger.

We haven't told him yet about his amnesia. Instead of forcing it, we thought we'd let him remember on his own. But watching him in pain was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

We chatted for a bit, and then he burst into tears for no reason. He allowed me to hug him, and we almost felt normal again. He cried for a long time, until he finally said, "I feel like I'm forgetting something. Something important. And I can't remember what it is. What's wrong with me?"

He eventually fell asleep on the couch and muttered my name in his sleep.

That absolutely broke me.

**Day 37:**

I was sitting in the living room again, watching Doctor Who. Doomsday was always Leo's favourite episode. He called it 'tragically beautiful'. But as the episode started, all I could think about was the ending. How there was nothing beautiful about it. It was painful and sad, and unfair, that they were so close, yet so far from each other at the same time. Like me and Leo.

He wandered into the room and asked if he could join me. When he said it was his favourite episode, I accidentally let it slip that I knew. He stared at me with his confused face until he turned towards the show again.

"It's tragically-"

"Beautiful" I finished, not realizing what I had done.

We sat in silence for the rest of the episode, and it hit me harder than ever before, all of a sudden I related to Rose Tyler in a whole new way.

When the show finished, neither of us moved, and neither of us looked at each other.

"It's you, isn't it? he asked me simply.

"What's me?" I asked and I turned to look at him. I almost wish I hadn't. He had tears running down his face, and he looked so helpless.

"It's you that I'm forgetting, isn't it?"

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**Next one is coming soon!**

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	4. Bits and Pieces

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**Onward!**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.**

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_"It's you that I'm forgetting, isn't it?"_

**Day 38:**

I honestly can't tell you how long it was before I said anything, because I threw my arms around him and started sobbing. Loud sobs, shaking me violently to the core. He was crying too. I could feel his body tremble against mine, his arms holding me tighter against him.

When we finally cried all that we could, he held my face in his hands and said three words, still not the ones I had been waiting for, but different ones that gave me hope.

"Help me remember."

**Day 39:**

Now that Leo knows about his amnesia, he wants me to tell him everything. It's hard to determine exactly where his amnesia starts, because he's missing some people, some years, some details. Honestly, it's all over the place. And it's frustrating and it's hard, because I can't create a timeline for this.

It's even more frustrating that I can't fix him. I'm a scientist. I fix things. This I can't. He has to fix himself. I can only try to help.

**Day 40:**

I'm telling him as many stories as I can remember about us. Any story, big or small. Some he'll start to remember halfway through me telling them, others he can't remember at all. I'm telling him stories from our Academy days. Thought I'd start out with the lighter stuff before talking about the changes the BUS put us through. Before the virus, before the Hydra, before Ward. Don't want to throw too many emotions at him all at once. But he looks happy. Happier than I've seen him in a long time.

**Day 41:**

Today he looked at me the way he looked in the pod. Like he was confessing his feelings. But he didn't say anything. I'm not sure if he even realized. His mind might not remember, but his body does.

**Day 42:**

He still isn't remembering much. Just a few things here and there. For the most part, he's enjoying listening to our Academy stories. And they make him laugh. His laugh is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. He's still just as obsessed with monkey's as ever. I am in love with such a brilliantly goofy man.

**Day 43:**

Leo is getting frustrated. He's doing everything he can to help himself, but he hasn't stirred up any new memories. I'm getting worried that he may never get them back.

**Day 44:**

I see Leo and Tripp talking in the living room, so quietly that I can't make out what they're saying. Tripp has his hand on Leo's shoulder, as if he's comforting him. Tripp is shaking his head, and Leo has his head in his hands. I don't know what's going on.

**Day 45:**

I asked Leo what he was talking to Tripp about yesterday. "Nothing" he said. Well bullocks, I know him better than that. But I don't push.

**Day 46:**

I asked Tripp what they had been talking about. He seemed hesitant to answer me, said it wasn't his place. But after me insisting, he said they were talking about me.

Apparently Leo thought it was a good idea to film himself while sleeping, to see if there was any sort of change. He's now aware that he mutters my name in his sleep, so he decided to talk to Tripp about it. Leo asked him if we were romantically involved, because he mutters my name. Tripp didn't know what to say, which is fair, because I wouldn't know what to say. No technically we were not involved, but if he were normal right now, we would be.

I hope Leo doesn't start ignoring me.

**Day 47:**

Leo watched me all day long. I pretended like I didn't notice, because I didn't want to embarrass him. But he watched me work all day, intensely. At one point he came up behind me like he used to, and asked what I was working on. When I told him, he finished half my sentence for me, then looked deep into my eyes.

I wanted to kiss him so badly.

**Day 48:**

Leo caught me crying today. I didn't mean for him to. I was in my bunk, crying like I do every day, and he walked in without knocking. He sat next to me and held me close, letting me cry onto his shoulder.

"This is about me, isn't it?" He asked.

When I nodded into the crook of his neck, he only held me tighter.

**Day 49:**

Today I showed Leo all sorts of pictures of us from our Academy days. We looked so happy in all those pictures. I don't recognize the people in the pictures anymore. I don't recognize myself.

**Day 50:**

I feel my heart becoming colder every day. As much as Leo is trying, it pains me so badly to have him so close, but not remember. I need him to remember. I feel like I'm dying bit by bit every day.

**Day 51:**

Today Coulson called us FitzSimmons again for the first time. Leo's head shot towards him and grinned. He seemed to remember something, but wouldn't say what.

**Day 52:**

"I remember the prank we pulled on the Operations Cadets," he said, while smiling his lovely smile. "I remember you there."

This warms a section of my heart that had frozen over.

**Day 53:**

He seems able to remember stories more than feelings. He can remember a few individual stories, but not the feelings that accompany them. He can't remember his feeling for me.

**Day 54:**

I woke in the middle of the night to get some water and heard muffled sobs coming from Leo's bunk. I pressed my ear to his door and heard him crying. "I want to remember you Jemma, I do. I'm trying so hard."

I didn't sleep the rest of the night.

**Day 55:**

Today we were all in the dining room, eating, when Skye brought up the Chitauri. Apparently there was some debris from The Battle of New York that was found, that someone had been hiding. Coulson got really angry and started muttering things about not wanting to have another alien virus on our hands, and Leo dropped his coffee cup and it shattered into little pieces all over the floor.

Everyone started panicking, asking if he was alright, but he wasn't responding. He was staring a hole in the table, when he finally scrunched his eyes together as if he were in pain. Then he slowly turned his head towards me and bore his eyes into mine.

"You jumped off this plane. You almost died."

I dropped my cup too.

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**What does it mean?!**

**Next chapter coming soon!**

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	5. I want more

**Wow, I am overwhelmed with all your beautiful reviews! Thank you guys so much for supporting this story!**

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**Disclaimer: Do I even need this anymore?**

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**Day 56**

I couldn't believe Leo remembered the virus. After I dropped my cup, we stared at each other for what felt like hours, while everyone around us started talking all at once. Technically it was probably just a few seconds, but time slows down when I look at him lately.

Leo looked upset, really upset.

"Jemma, can I talk to you in private?"

The rest of the team dispersed and left us alone.

"What would make you jump off this plane?" he said very sternly.

I didn't know what to say.

"To your death!" he shouted now, face going red.

I took a deep breath before I spoke, "Leo, do you remember everything about the virus?"

"Everything. Down to the detail."

"Then you know that I would have killed everyone on this plane if we didn't come up with a solution."

"Jemma, you knocked me out! And were going to jump without me even getting a chance to change your mind!"

"I couldn't let you die Leo!" I shouted.

He was quiet for a long time.

"Well I can't bare the thought of you dying. I would never forgive myself."

His argument sounds an awful lot like the one we had in the pod.

"If you die, I die." he said. "I may not be able to remember all the memories that are locked away in this brain of mine, but I know we're connected Jemma. What you do, I do. We go together."

He looked down at my hand and grabbed it with his. I wonder if he could feel my pulse racing in it. I squeezed his hand and he smiled.

"Wait a sec," he said, pausing, "I remember someone saving you….a guy. I can't remember his name. Who is he?"

**Day 57**

There's no way I could tell Leo about Ward. No way. I can barely come to terms with the fact that Ward is a traitor, and that he would do this to us. Traitorous asshole. Leo is like this because of him. If I ever get my hands on Ward, he'll wish May had killed him. I've always been the forgiving type, but Leo may never be the same, and it's all Ward's fault.

If Leo remembers any more of Ward, I'm not sure how I'm going to break it to him. He felt so betrayed. We ALL feel betrayed.

**Day 58**

I heard Leo cry out in his sleep last night. When I knocked on his door, he woke up and told me he had a nightmare about me falling into the sky. He said he could hear himself screaming over and over again, and see me being sucked out of the plane. Little does he know, I have nightmares every night of him, unconscious, still in the hospital bed.

**Day 59**

Leo's been having little breakthroughs every day. Nothing major, but remembering little tidbits of our Academy days, or parties we used to go to. He told me sometimes peoples faces would be blurred out in his memories, but mine was always crystal clear, and right next to him.

That made me happy.

**Day 60**

Leo was looking at the night night, or should I say ICERs today. He didn't remember designing them, or me helping, so he looked at them with awe, saying that our mixture of engineering and bio/chem is "bloody genius".

Yes, yes it is.

**Day 61**

Leo insisted he make breakfast for me today. I'm not sure where that came from, but he wouldn't take no for an answer.

He made me pancakes, with chocolate and blueberries. He said he had the idea to mix the two while making them, and thought I'd like it.

He made my favourite pancakes.

**Day 62**

After Leo and I went through our old Academy yearbook, Leo reached forward and engulfed me in a huge hug.

"You're really special to me, aren't you?"

I nodded against his shoulder, with watering eyes.

"I can feel it."

**Day 63**

Something odd happened today.

Leo and I were in the lab, chatting casually, when all of a sudden, he leaned forward, and gave me a peck on the cheek, then quickly ran out of the lab, red cheeks and all.

My that boy is sure getting brave with his amnesia.

**Day 64**

There was no change with Leo today, except for the fact that he's becoming flirtier than usual. Well….flirty for us, because let's face it, neither of us are very good in that department. He seems to be paying extra attention to me lately. And today he was so close to me, and glanced down at my lips, that I thought he was going to kiss me. I want him to kiss me.

But at the same time I don't.

I feel like that would be like lying to him in some way, because right now he doesn't have the full story of us, of what happened the past few months, in the pod. Right now he has the spark notes edition, the express version of us. And I want him to have every little bit of information before we can step over that line.

More than anything, I want his lips against mine. But I'll hold off on my desire until he can fully come back to me. Then we'll step over that line together.

**Day 65**

Skye had the brilliant idea of playing drinking games today.

The "adults" as she called them, were out, so she pulled out a bottle of Rum from an undisclosed location, and thought it would be fun to play "never have I ever." It was actually, pretty unfair to Leo, who has amnesia, and can't remember half the stuff he's done anyways! But really, I can answer most of the questions for him. I've been next to him for eight years now.

Since Leo has been out of the hospital for a while now, it's technically fine for him to drink. He should just drink within limits.

We do a few back and forth, with Skye mostly drinking. Sounds like she's had a much more exciting life than us.

I really wish she hadn't said the next question. "Never have I ever made-out with my best friend"

The answer was no, for both of us, but Leo, who looked at me to answer most questions for him, looked at me with interest, and desire, eyes wide. I slowly shook my head no, and I saw…sadness?

Is he starting to remember his feelings?

**Day 66**

After everyone else had went to bed, I was sitting in the living room alone, casually reading a book on amnesia. Leo came in and sat next to me. When I put my book down and turned towards him, all of a sudden his lips were on mine, and his hands were on either side of my face. Before I knew what I was doing, I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him close. It was sweet, exactly how I imagined our first kiss would be.

First kiss. Wait.

When I broke away for air, I gave my brain a minute to catch up to the current situation. Leo looked at me with such intensity, that I felt myself crumble beneath his gaze.

He leaned forward to kiss me again, and I pulled back slightly. He looked confused, but most of all, he looked hurt.

"Jemma, do you not want this?" he asked as he pulled away from me.

"I do!" I said, my hand shooting forward to caress his cheek. "I do-I just-feel like I'm cheating on you in some weird way. With yourself."

I paused.

"I don't expect you to understand. But-can this just wait till you remember more? Remember more about me? About us?"

He looked even more confused, but as my thumb stroked his cheek and he closed his eyes in feeling, he nodded his head.

"Can I at least hold your hand?"

I smiled.

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	6. Can you feel it?

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**Day 67:**

After the new surprise development in our relationship, I haven't been able to sleep much at night. After getting a taste of Leo's lips, it makes me want to taste them again, and again and again. I daydream of him kissing me, and I dream of him banging on my bunk door in the middle of the night, marching in, and kissing me passionately.

It's bad. I can see in his eyes that he wants to kiss me too. But he respects my wishes and instead, holds my hand.

Skye was the first to notice.

When we were sitting down for dinner, Leo reached under the table to lace our fingers together. Eventually after a few minutes, Skye realized and responded with an "OH MY GOSH GUYS."

She watches us like a hawk now. I'm not really sure what she expects to find, but it's hilarious anyways.

**Day 68:**

Wow, that boy makes me feel things.

Things I've never felt before.

This is new.

**Day 69:**

Today Skye had another brilliant idea and put the Notebook on while Leo and I were sitting in the living room. Not only did it make me want to press him back into the pillows and kiss him for the rest of the evening, but it made him sad that he couldn't remember more.

I know Skye means well—-it just hurts is all.

**Day 70:**

Since Leo is doing better, Coulson has started some work again today. We had all taken a long break while Leo was recovering (much needed with all the Hydra stuff that had been going on), and now Coulson is searching the globe for SHIELD people he trusts. Since Fury made him the new director, he's been taking his role seriously, going through hundreds of case and personal files. He want to starts SHIELD up again, but in a different way. Not sure what he means, but we all trust him to no end.

**Day 71:**

Today Skye, May, Tripp and Coulson left the BUS to do some footwork. Nothing serious, but they wanted to do some spying on a potential candidate for the new SHIELD, but wanted to make sure we could trust him. AKA, they wanted to make sure he's not Hydra. They left me and Leo on the BUS in complete lockdown, so no one could get in.

I had my head buried in amnesia research, looking for any possible tidbit of information to help Leo with his memories, when slow music wafted in the room. I looked up from my papers, and Leo was standing in front of me, hand extended, with a goofy grin on his face.

"Dance with me?"

I remember my cheeks getting hot, I'm sure they were very red. I let him help me up off the couch and he pulled me close, one hand on my waist, the other holding my hand. We slowly swayed on the spot, and I rested my head against his. It was by-far, the most peace I had felt in a long time. Even though the Leo in front of me is a different man than the one before amnesia, he is still my Leo nonetheless.

And I love him with all my heart.

"Did we used to dance like this before?" he asked quietly in my ear. His breath tickled my ear, and shivers ran down my spine.

"No…this is the first time." I said, hoping he wouldn't ask for too much more. Our relationship beforehand had been complicated, and I didn't want it to complicate this even more than it already was. I was enjoying this new change.

I think he could sense my hesitation, because he didn't press.

"Well, expect it to happen from now on."

I smiled into the crook of his neck and held onto him tighter. My this boy was sure becoming the romantic.

**Day 72:**

Skye came to talk to me today. She wanted to know what was up with me and Leo.

"So, are you guys like together?"

I nodded, but then shook my head.

"Well, technically in our minds we are, but we're not taking any new steps till Leo remembers more."

"Seriously Jemma, you love him, he loves you, end of story."

"I know Skye, believe me, I know. I just want to do this right."

She just shook her head and grinned. "You two are the definition of soul mates"

I couldn't help but blush when I heard that.

"You're also the definition of stubborn."

"Thanks Skye."

**Day 73:**

Skye is just doing absolutely everything she can to make things awkward for me and Leo!

Today we were in the lab working on some new prototypes and were bouncing some ideas off one another, when Leo stopped suddenly and looked at me.

"You're bloody brilliant, you know that, right?"

"Well, so are you."

"I want to kiss you right now."

"I want to kiss you too."

Skye chose that particular moment to walk into the lab.

"OH LA LA, shall I leave you guys alone and disconnect the cameras?"

Leo turned a deep shade of red and went back to work. He couldn't look at me for a couple hours. Or was it me that couldn't look?

**Day 74:**

"I know you want to hold off on things for a bit." Leo said suddenly one afternoon. "But—how would you feel about a date night? We can keep it light. Even here on the BUS. I just thought you and me. Just the two of us."

Of course I want to have a date with Leo. Even though he hasn't progressed a ton and he's not any closer to remembering everything, I can't help but say yes.

"Great!" he exclaimed with a clap. "Tomorrow night, it's a date."

**Day 75:**

As promised, it was just the two of us. I'm not sure what Leo said to everyone else, but around 7pm, they all disappeared, with Skye making some bad joke about not wanting to see anything.

Leo made me dinner, sandwiches he said.

"I remembered something." he said, a smile stretching across his face.

"What?" I asked, jumping up.

"Three words," he said, "homemade pesto aioli. I can't make it as good as you, but I wanted to try." he said, as he set down the plate in front of me.

I looked down at the sandwich Leo attempted to make, in awe. He remembered. He actually remembered. It was squashed in certain areas, with prosciutto hanging out the ends, and the buffalo mozzarella was cut messily. The man made brilliant feats in engineering every day, and could make any electrical device with his bare hands, but a sandwich proved difficult for him. It only made the gesture even more special.

"It's perfect"

We ate the sandwiches, which were delicious I might add, in relative silence, with longing stares, and I hugged him tightly afterwards. His simple gesture meant so much to me, that I wish I had the words to express it to him.

"The evening isn't over. I have something else planned."

We sat in the living room, and he pulled out a movie, 'The Princess Bride.'

"Oh my gosh, my favourite!" I exclaimed

"I know", he said with a smile, "I remembered", and tears came to my eyes.

I kissed his cheek and he gripped my waist as I did. Oh how I wanted to kiss more.

**Day 76:**

I keep remembering our date last night. During the movie, I got a bit cold, so he grabbed a blanket and we snuggled underneath it. I was fine with that., in fact I enjoyed that. It was what he did afterwards.

I'm not sure if he even realized what he was doing. Our fingers were interlaced, and he slowly pulled his away, and began tracing the lines on my palm with his fingers, over and over again.

Who knew hand-holding could be so sensual? Leo is slowly unraveling me, and heating me to the core. I don't know if I can take it much longer.

I could barely pay attention to the movie while he was doing that. I just remember becoming very warm, and becoming very aware of just how close we were sitting. I purposely did not look at him for the rest of the movie, for the sake of not wanting losing control.

One day. I can lose control with him one day. That day will eventually come.

When the movie finished, he walked me to the door of my bunk, and raised my hand to his lips and kissed the top of it slowly.

"Goodnight Jemma."

I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open at this point, but I reclaimed enough strength to say goodnight and thank him for such a great evening. Then, I kissed him on the cheek slowly, breathing him in.

"I'm so glad you're coming back to me."

We both smiled like goofy idiots.

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**All the feels! **

**Please let me know what you think**

**Next chapter on it's way!**


	7. Getting closer

**Guys, thank you all so much for the beautiful reviews! I'm glad this story is helping you. Every day we're getting a bit closer to Season 2!**

**In some reviews, a few of you mentioned possibly taking some individual days and turning them into longer one-shots. I think that's a pretty sweet idea. If you think it is too, in a review, please let me know what day you'd like to see as a one-shot! If I get multiple days, or think I can turn one into something ****substantial, I'll try it out!**

**Disclaimer: Wish I owned SHIELD, then I could meet the cast.**

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**Day 77:**

Part of me wonders what Leo would be like without the amnesia. Well that's a lie. A lot of me wonders what he would be like. Would he be this forward? Would he be this romantic? Or would his romanticism just be assumed? Since he basically sacrificed himself for me. I mean, I didn't say the words, "I love you" in the pod, and I haven't said it to him yet. Well…not while he's been awake. I know I love him. And I'm not sure if this new Leo loves me yet. He obviously likes me and feels a pull towards me, and is connected by memories. But does he love me?

**Day 78:**

Leo wanted to talk to me today. I was scared something was wrong by the look on his face.

"Jemma, do I make you happy?"

"What?"

"Do I make you happy, do you want to be with me?"

"Are you serious? Of course you make me happy you giant buffoon! Where is this coming from?"

He looked so small again. Like he was back in the hospital bed, unconscious, hooked up to all the tubes and wires.

"I just—-I know I'm not the man I used to be. I'm know I'm not the Leo from before. And I can't help but feel that I'm not good enough. I don't deserve you. You deserve more than half a man and—-"

I shut him up with a kiss.

**Day 79:**

I threw the no kissing rule out the window yesterday. Cat's out of the bag.

I couldn't take it anymore. And especially with him going off about how he's not worthy of me.

Kissing Leo is great. He likes it, I like it, and we're both much happier now.

Ok let's be honest, I REALLY like it.

As his lips caress mine in the silence of the BUS as everyone else sleeps, and his arms circle around my waist, I can't help but feel that it's so right.

Not just a little right, it's so perfectly right. I think deep down, part of me always knew that we'd end up together. There really was no one else for us, but one another. Meshing so perfectly, we were always each other's half.

I broke away from him to look into his eyes, I had to say it. Especially since what he said yesterday.

"Leo—-you know, even though you have amnesia, it doesn't make you any less of a person, right?

He didn't say anything, but the pain in his eyes was as clear as day.

"Don't ever think you're not enough, not enough for me, not enough to be part of this team. Because you are enough."

"But Jemma—"

"No buts. Don't ever think that again. You are not a broken man. You are not a shell of a man. Your just missing some memories is all. But you're still you. You are a perfect man in all your imperfections. You show me every day that you're more than your lost memories. You're so much more than that to me."

"You're so much more to me too Jemma."

**Day 80:**

Today Skye walked in on me and Leo kissing in the lab.

I had been looking through a microscope at one of my many specimens, when Leo came up from behind me and laced his arms around my middle, surprising me.

"Leo! What are you doing?"

"I just can't get enough of you." he said so simply, so full of adoration, and nuzzled my neck with his nose.

His stubble tickled me and I couldn't help the outburst of giggles that escaped me.

"You are so adorable, you know that, right?" I said, as I took off my gloves and twisted around in his arms, placing my palms on either side of his face.

"Well, you are too. And a bloody genius at that."

When our lips met, our hands bunched in each others lab coats, trying to get as close as possible.

Who would've thought. The two resident scientists, snogging in the lab. How cliche'.

We were just about to deepen the kiss when all of a sudden we heard, "WHOA SEXY TIME."

Great timing Skye.

**Day 81:**

"Jemma, every day I'm going to work towards being the man you want me to be. I'm going to prove my worth to you."

"Silly Leo, you're just perfect the way you are. Now kiss me."

He happily obliged.

**Day 82:**

Leo took a nap today. He has been doing a lot of work lately on the new prototype, so he's been a bit tired the past few days. It scared me when I heard a yell from his bunk. I quickly ran to his door, whipped it open, and found him looking angry and shaken up. I sat down on the bed and took his hand in mine.

"What's wrong Leo?"

He was blinking rapidly, like he was trying to sort something out.

"The man that saved you. Ward. I remember him."

My heart clenched in my chest.

He looked like he was going to be sick, but he continued on.

"He was our friend. And he turned out to be Hydra. Hydra! They're back, how is this possible? And—-and Ward- he killed Agent Koenig. And—-and Garrett turned out to be the Clairvoyant—-and Agent Hand is dead."

I couldn't believe my ears. Leo had a huge breakthrough. Not only did he remember bits and pieces, he was remembering tremendous amounts of information.

"And….SHIELD is gone."

I held his hand tighter while he worked through the painful memories.

"Ward….we went on missions together…he saved you….we had laughs. How could he betray us? He was our friend. There has to be a reason why."

This hurt to hear. This was exactly how he processed the news that Ward was Hydra last time. My Leo, always seeing the good in people.

Wait a second…he was remembering feelings too, instead of just stories.

"Do you remember anything else?" I asked, my heart starting to flutter more than usual when around him. Could he remember the pod? His confession? His sacrifice?

"Yes…oh Jemma," he said, and cupped my face in his hands. "I remember going to the HUB to save you, and not hearing from you and thinking you were dead. I remember feeling like every important part of my life had died. And that I may well have just died too, because there was no point in living without you."

Tears welled in my eyes after he said that. And then something clicked into place in my mind.

It doesn't matter anymore that Leo forgot some things. His feelings for me came back just as strong this time around, but now, he wasted no time in showing them. It was like the hidden part of him that remembered everything was telling him to waste no more time. The part of Leo that had been missing had been stopping me from moving forward and getting past the pain. I wasn't going to let that affect me anymore.

"Oh Leo…" I said as I held onto his shoulders, "I thought you had died too. I was more scared in that moment than in my entire life. I can't live without you either."

It's true. I don't know what I would have done if he had died.

"Jemma, when you ran towards me and launched yourself into my arms, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. But when I felt that you were real, I knew that I would be alright, as long as I had you by my side."

"Oh Leo," I said as I closed the space between us and pressed my lips to his. I remember grabbing the collar of his shirt tightly to hold him close, and I could feel his hand gripping my waist firmly. I never wanted to let him go. I would be content staying like this forever.

After a few minutes, I broke away and pressed my forehead against his.

"Anything else? Do you remember anything else?"

Like the pod perhaps. That will be even more of an emotional roller coaster than this was.

"No, that's all for now."

"There's no rush" I said with a grin as I captured his lips in my own once again.

**Day 83:**

We were sitting on top of Leo's bed reading a science journal together. Well, he was reading, I was watching him read. Actually, he stopped reading a while ago, and we were just enjoying each other's presence. We weren't kissing, we were just studying each other's faces, memorizing every speck, every freckle, every pore. We do this a lot now. I think it's because we came so close to losing each other. Leo still doesn't know what happened to him. We just called it an "accident". Of course I want him to remember, but I'm sad to think about the pain it will cause him when the time comes.

**Day 84:**

Tonight when were were all at the dinner table, Leo asked the one thing I had been dreading. He more like demanded it actually.

"Tell me how I got my amnesia. No more skirting around the issue. I need to know everything. Please guys, I need to know."

How do I possibly tell the man I love that we were trapped in an underwater pod, and we were going to die, when he selflessly sacrificed himself for me?

How do you possibly tell someone that?

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**Please let me know what you think!**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


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